How many times have we heard in our life, oh you are better than that, you could do better, you should have done better? I have, and for the most part its true, i should have. But the problem is that this all relates to what we do for a job. How many people have ever said “hey Pete are you happy”? nobody. It’s just not something we as humans are concerned about, well at least it doesn’t seem it when we question each other.
Why do we define our fellow people by what they do for a living? Surely this is an egotistical, self absorbed and comparative way to go about things?. It’s almost our way of measuring our success against another. One thing we need to take from this current climate is that we need to choose happiness over success. I don’t mean we should not try to achieve and reach our goals and fulfil our dreams, but often when we do this we forget to be happy. We often forget what truly makes us happy. For everyone this is different. For me my happiness is routed in love and contentment. The joy of my kids smile, the feeling of being in love, and we all need some sort of financial security. But if you were alone and had nobody would financial security hold you tight at night and make you feel blessed? No it wouldn’t.
So the big question for me is, how do we measure success?
Let’s be slightly morbid for a moment. Picture 2 funerals. 1 is a road sweeper, the other a doctor. The Dr. Was a leading figure in her field, a lovely woman, ploughed all her time into her work, felt fulfilled and happy, yet because of this she didn’t have much of a social life outside of her profession and although she loved her kids deeply there was something missing from their bond, probably due to her work ethic. There are a few people at her funeral and she is sadly missed.
The 2nd funeral is a road sweeper. He worked for 30 years doing this, he knew he would never have much money, but committed himself to his family life, had a great social life and was the sort of bloke that would do anything for anyone. The funeral is ram packed and people can’t get inside the church.
At the end of life will it be the accolades of these 2 people who will be remembered ? Or the love they gave and received and the lives they touched. We can look at that from our point of view or from theirs. Maybe both were happy with their life, maybe both would love to have swapped certain aspects with each other? But the big thing we should realise is, it really doesn’t matter. Because at the end, there is only you that you have to answer to.
Stop defining yourself by your job choice. Because it’s only there to provide you with cash. Start defining yourself by how you feel inside. Stop and watch how you treat others, define yourself by how often you smile and how often you feel pure love. If these things aren’t coming easy for you then reach out and change it. I’m not trying to say your job cant fulfil you of course it can, just don’t let it define you because the truth is, we are more.
I know people doing wonderful things for a career that i envy so much, and it ties into part of their fulfilment and unfortunately most of us will not get to have that. And this is why i think it is important to find more meaning in our lives outside of this daily task that we must preform.
But please we must stop defining success by the car you drive and how many bedrooms our houses have. Start enquiring about happiness. Help build those around you, make internal enquires about your own nature.
Love and light Pete