Own happy.

How many times have we heard in our life, oh you are better than that, you could do better, you should have done better? I have, and for the most part its true, i should have. But the problem is that this all relates to what we do for a job. How many people have ever said “hey Pete are you happy”? nobody. It’s just not something we as humans are concerned about, well at least it doesn’t seem it when we question each other.

Why do we define our fellow people by what they do for a living? Surely this is an egotistical, self absorbed and comparative way to go about things?. It’s almost our way of measuring our success against another. One thing we need to take from this current climate is that we need to choose happiness over success. I don’t mean we should not try to achieve and reach our goals and fulfil our dreams, but often when we do this we forget to be happy. We often forget what truly makes us happy. For everyone this is different. For me my happiness is routed in love and contentment. The joy of my kids smile, the feeling of being in love, and we all need some sort of financial security. But if you were alone and had nobody would financial security hold you tight at night and make you feel blessed? No it wouldn’t.

So the big question for me is, how do we measure success?

Let’s be slightly morbid for a moment. Picture 2 funerals. 1 is a road sweeper, the other a doctor. The Dr. Was a leading figure in her field, a lovely woman, ploughed all her time into her work, felt fulfilled and happy, yet because of this she didn’t have much of a social life outside of her profession and although she loved her kids deeply there was something missing from their bond, probably due to her work ethic. There are a few people at her funeral and she is sadly missed.

The 2nd funeral is a road sweeper. He worked for 30 years doing this, he knew he would never have much money, but committed himself to his family life, had a great social life and was the sort of bloke that would do anything for anyone. The funeral is ram packed and people can’t get inside the church.

At the end of life will it be the accolades of these 2 people who will be remembered ? Or the love they gave and received and the lives they touched. We can look at that from our point of view or from theirs. Maybe both were happy with their life, maybe both would love to have swapped certain aspects with each other? But the big thing we should realise is, it really doesn’t matter. Because at the end, there is only you that you have to answer to.

Stop defining yourself by your job choice. Because it’s only there to provide you with cash. Start defining yourself by how you feel inside. Stop and watch how you treat others, define yourself by how often you smile and how often you feel pure love. If these things aren’t coming easy for you then reach out and change it. I’m not trying to say your job cant fulfil you of course it can, just don’t let it define you because the truth is, we are more.

I know people doing wonderful things for a career that i envy so much, and it ties into part of their fulfilment and unfortunately most of us will not get to have that. And this is why i think it is important to find more meaning in our lives outside of this daily task that we must preform.

But please we must stop defining success by the car you drive and how many bedrooms our houses have. Start enquiring about happiness. Help build those around you, make internal enquires about your own nature.

Love and light Pete

Shed the baggage.

Down many country lanes you will notice snails, slowly moving from one hedge to the next, crossing the road, hoping to avoid the next car,tractor or truck. Snails are a great metaphor for the way we go through life. We navigate our way through, carrying all our emotional baggage hoping something doesn’t come along out of the blue and hit us. Let’s face it, life can be tough and cruel without having to navigate through the on coming traffic that relentlessly drives its way towards us. But would life be better if we could shed the baggage we carry around with us. Do past hurts and future worries serve us any purpose? Maybe you think it keeps us on our toes? But how can we ever be truly prepared for the unknown, clue is in the word unknown, we cant. I’m not saying don’t prepare for your next interview or for an important meeting, but do the worries we attach to them really warrant the stress we put on our minds and bodies. Does constantly using your mind to drag up the past help you?

I’ve had people tell me how they struggle to release past hurts and it’s often because they misunderstand letting go. When we let go we are being kind too ourselves and in some cases kind to others too. We aren’t rejecting our past we are simply acknowledging that it is just that, the past, it serves no purpose still feeling aggravated in the present. It’s one of the hardest tasks to navigate through. Often we think that we are over an issue, and bang it hits you. The past is now only an energy that resonates with you and follows you around, we can use our happy past to fuel us but remember that is still not our now, and its ok to acknowledge any unhappy past is making us ill whether that be emotionally or physically.

So how do we let go? Hard work I’m afraid. Nobody has yet come up with a fast solution, but it is achievable. Like i mentioned already people often misunderstand letting go. We aren’t rejecting anyone or anything we simply want to say that you no longer serve me a purpose and you need to receive this energy you have left on me, back. Sometimes its good to acknowledge that although you’ve had maybe a bad experience, its potentially made you a stronger person, maybe wiser and not so easily fooled. Of course all our past hurts aren’t so dark, sometimes minor irritations can hang around us for a long time and become more negative.

I do not try to be an expert or have any insightful knowledge to share, these are simply my own thoughts. But here is one little meditation technique i once got taught a few years ago.

Sit comfortably either in a meditation position or comfortably in an upright chair (not a sofa) or maybe laying down. close your eyes and breath at a slow yet steady pace, in through your nose and out through your mouth. focus on the area you want to work on, for this I’m going to us an example to reference to. Let’s say its a work argument. Now focus on that or the person involved. Breath into the moment and sit with it for a while, try no to re live the situation, just be with it, now tell this moment/person you are transferring the energy you have carried back to it/them, acknowledge this energy doesn’t belong to you and you are lovingly returning it to its rightful owner, feel it leave you and go back to where it belongs, allow yourself to feel lighter by this. Feel love through out it regardless of if you have anger. Remember you are trying to leave it behind. Continue to breath through this. And now sit for a moment feeling lighter. Take your time with this. Allow yourself all the time you need watching and allowing the energy to leave you.

Try doing this a few times and see if you can lighten yourself. Of course we can never forget the past or our hurts, but we can not allow them to own our present or future.

Love and light pete

Survival in times of crisis

Don’t wait until its too late to focus on you

We all have found our own way to survive through these recent times. Some of us have calmly sailed through and some of us have dragged ourself through one long dragged out day at a time.

I’ve found my way to get through with meditation, reading, early morning walks and generally throwing my mind into the healing of the self. But the issue is, why do we only really do this in times of crisis?. Hear me out. There are a large number of people who do continue to take care of themselves irregardless of a time of crisis. But many of us don’t until we need something, i myself have been guilty of this on many many occasions.

Why is it that we as humans are so self destructive? Why do we turn to higher powers in a time of uncertainty?. I’ve often heard stories of atheists at the end of life or when they are challenged with tragedy cry out God help me. From my own experience I’ve always been spiritual, however when life gets busy or life is going well I’ve been guilty of neglecting my practises of meditation etc only to look for spiritual thinking and meditation when I receive a life blow. Returning to it always brings me back to centre and calmer clearer thinking, a kinder way about myself and generally a more grounded self.

How have we made it so easy to think our mobile phones are more important than our minds? A new facebook post is more important than breathing correctly, and when we do take time for a walk etc it’s often spent pulling out mobiles to add pictures or to check in somewhere, i do it myself. Mindfulness is our key. Be aware of self and our present state. Now is a time to change and realise you are important and are the central character in your life story. We all want to be better parents, friends, siblings and sons and daughters, but we can’t be if we can’t give ourselves time to have a healthy mind. We dont have to juggle multiple thoughts or tasks. Have a new cd? Turn off your phone turn off the tv and sit for the hour to listen and appreciate it, live in that moment. Sometimes we are so ignorant to the beauty around us. We are ignorant to our fellow people and the talents they have. We’d rather rush off than be compassionate to someone in need. We always have so much time for the wrong things.

Let’s all make an effort to see things through our own eyes rather than watch it though our phones video recorder. Let’s allow our mind to absorb this very moment. We have endless hours to sit on our phones or search through Netflix. Take 20 minutes out of your day for you and only you. Don’t want to meditate ? you don’t have to. But just sit with you and breath, realise you aren’t here to be your job or to be a consumer of endless needless products. You are worth more than what you are giving yourself.

Love and light Pete.

meditation and these times. đź•‰

The past and future don’t exist, we only have the now

What we do with this unexpected extra time will be crucial to how we face an uncertain and disrupted future. This is the time to mend and prepare our minds. Positive thought and plans for the future can occupy our minds in the short term, but it’s the long term we need to think about. Our minds can be fooled and distracted for the moment, but a good meditation routine can set us up for the road ahead as well as helping us in the now. Simply taking time to sit and breath is something we can all do, and we don’t need to complicate it with thoughts of more than that. Meditation is one of the things that people believe they fail at, when in fact they couldn’t be more wrong. Empty your mind of monks sitting in the Himalayas thinking about nothing. Remember they don’t have jobs, bills, and kids. Of course we all strive for their level but that is a long road but an achievable one. Forget all you think you know about meditation. Simply sit in a comfortable position and breath. Accept that your mind will wonder, accept that you may feel frustrated at that, but I guarantee you after a few times you’ll feel the benefit. Focus on your breath or god or a flickering flame, and each time your mind wonders and you bring it back to your focus then you have won. Treat yourself to 10 minutes to yourself each day to transform your mood, thinking and mental health. Honestly what do you have to lose? Well only 10 minutes if I’m wrong, but I won’t be. Invest in you. Love and light, Pete.

Hi I’m Pete, and I’m doing my best to navigate this and life

I’m a 36 year old man living in rural Staffordshire, England. I Spent a large part of my adult life in St Albert, Alberta, Canada. I have 2 children a girl Alysabeth who’s almost 11 and a boy Jaret who is 9. From a young age I’ve always been a spiritual seeker. Embracing meditation and the wonders of life. At about the age of 20 I attended a Buddhist temple in Wolverhampton to try and learn more. This led me on a slow path where I eventually sat in mediumship and healing circles which I greatly enjoyed. But the inner yearning has never died down. My search has led me into many Eastern thoughts, particularly Hinduism and the bhagavad gita. I’m very eclectic in my beliefs and respect all trains of thought and beliefs. I’m on a mission to learn and serve more. I have many goals regarding this and I hope as I blog my way through they will start to manifest.

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